Facebook Ettiquette 101


Just this week I left a comment on a dear friend’s Facebook page, that I later realized could either be seen as a complement OR as a REALLY mean remark.  After seeing her response, I realized my mistake, sent her an e-mail and followed up with a phone call to apologize.  There is NOTHING worse than having to hit Delete on words that have already been received by someone else.

This little interaction has got me thinking about how we interact with each other on Facebook.  What is appropriate to say on Facebook?  What should be left for other conversations?  I came across the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie (published in 1936).

He has “Six Ways to Make People Like You”. I’ve adapted them to “Six ways to Make People Click “Like””.

1. Be genuinely interested in other people.
When status updates include family or friends or tags to other people this helps to encourage friendships and cultivate community.  Don’t you feel special when someone else tags you?  I always rush to see what someone’s saying or what I was doing to be tagged in a photo.  But remember the first part of the sentence – be genuine.  Nobody appreciates empty praise.

2. Smile.

Keep your status updates positive in nature.  Smile at what life brings your way, if at all possible.  Additionally, when others are going through a difficult time, give them a smiley face or let them know that you care about them.  If you don’t care enough to give them a smile, then maybe you should “Unfriend” them.

3.  Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
When you see the birthday notifications, shoot over a short well-wish.  There are certainly friends from the past and friends who live near you now.  Remember to connect with friends who live near you and use facebook to set up play dates or to talk about a fun event that you enjoyed and let those who could have come know that they were missed.  I know it makes a difference to me when someone remembers that I wasn’t able to make it or invites me, even if they know I already have a commitment.

4.  Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Hit “Like” when you read someone’s status update – and you genuinely “Like” it!  Leave little notes of encouragement to family, hubby or friends you know are going through a difficult time.  Since we don’t use snail mail as much these days, Facebook can be a wonderful platform for building each other up and strengthening friendships!

5.  Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Don’t be so consumed with your own life that you forget to have real friendships.  If you see someone you haven’t talked to in a while on Facebook, give her a call and let her know you just wanted to know how she is enjoying her new camera, baby, car, job etc.  Or just send a personal message of congratulations and ask about the latest news… and then really care about the answer.

6.  Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
All of this can sound manipulative if it’s not genuinely sincere.  Friendships really can make life so much richer!  Love your girlfriends and encourage them on Facebook!

Don’t forget to “Like” Scottsdale Moms Blog on Facebook.


Joy is the Co-founder of Scottsdale Moms Blog and absolutely loves living in Scottsdale with her hubby Kevin and their daughter Reagan (born August 2009).  She is a lover of nature, a research analyst on all things related to life, a home manager, a crafty art-eest, part time baby sitter, Chief Marketing Officer for Cactus CrossFit, mommy, daughter, friend.  You are always welcome to e-mail Joy at joy@scottsdalemomsblog.com.


  1. Thanks ladies! I actually have more on this topic so stay tuned… also I’d love to hear your thoughts on the social media craze!

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