Nope. No Way. Not Me. {MORE Not So Savory Mommy Moments}


I currently have a two year old and five year old running around. Life is fun, hectic, dramatic, and filled with more chaos than I knew could exist. The days go by at light speed and are filled with moments of insanity and humor. Some of those mommy moments, I am proud to own up to. Others? Not so much. Those moments are the ones where I find myself saying. “Nope. No Way. Not Me.”

In approaching my one year anniversary here at SMB, I thought I would throwback to my very first post and add some more mommy moments that absolutely haven’t happened to me. Or maybe they have.  You be the judge…

  • Recently, while driving in the car, my 5 year old did not take the time to inform me that “Mom, the radio sings by itself.” Not me. I should be auditioning for The Voice!
  • Just last week, my lovely children did not discover my postage stamp stash and decide that they would make great stickers. Nope. Nothing like that happens around here. I always have office supplies properly stored away from curious little hands.
  • It absolutely wasn’t me who packed up our whole crew to go to the grocery store, got everyone in the car, and then decided that for the greater good of the general public and my own sanity, that the best life-choice for everyone was to have our necessities shipped instead. I never give up in the throws of tantrums!
  • Just the other day, I did not find myself knowing what time of day it was simply by the mess I was cleaning at that moment. Because around our house, the struggle that involves cleaning up legos never happens EXACTLY 30 minutes before I should start cooking dinner.
  • Speaking of Legos, I never ever ever vacuum them up and simply allow them to disappear. Never. Every lego for every vehicle/superhero/building we own is properly accounted for.
  • No way did I spend today helping my kid search for the chocolate I ate yesterday. Gosh no. I was not at all in need of such a chocolate fix that I resorted to eating my own sweet child’s candy.
  • “Nipples are not for opening doors.”  I was not prompted by my 5 year old to say such a thing.  Not in our house!
  • Never in the mornings do I look forward to putting my kids in their car seats so they can’t touch and patronize each other. Not me. My kids only lovingly embrace, and never place each other in headlocks or push each other out of frustration.
  • At breakfast time, I did not have to tell my kids that the chia seeds in their oatmeal are chocolate sprinkles. My children willingly eat all seeds, nuts, and foliage I put on their plates – without any protest.

Do you have any mom moments that surely haven’t actually happened to you lately?  Please feel free to share in the comments!