A few years back, there was a blog I followed that did “Not Me Mondays.” Bloggers and Mamas linked up to share their not-so-superhero mommy moments. It always gave me a good laugh and served as a reminder that none of us have it all together, all of the time. I figured that I would use my first post here at Scottsdale Moms Blog to share those sentiments. Let’s get started, shall we?
A few days ago, after starting my day with a green juice and banana for breakfast, followed by a kale and grapefruit salad for lunch, I most certainly did not end my day shoving forkfuls of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese into my mouth for dinner. Nope. No Way. Not Me. I am a pillar of health and wellness.
The other week while making dinner, I did not allow my one year old to pull out a plethora of small kitchen utensils to entertain herself with. After making sure there were no blades or outlets in sight, I did not allow her to play quietly so that I could cook a meal without her screaming and pulling at my clothes. Nope. No Way. Not Me. My children only have access to educational, non-battery powered, and age appropriate toys at all times.
I do not regularly strip my one year old down to her diaper for meals in order to avoid pre-treating more laundry than already necessary. Nope. No way. Not me. We are a civilized family, and we all wear clothing at the table. My child will not associate nudity with meal time.
While out looking at houses with our realtor and our four year old “forgot” how to use the bathroom, I absolutely did not put him into a size 5 diaper because it was all that I had in my diaper bag. Nope. No way. Not me. I am the epitome of preparedness in potty related emergencies. My diaper bag is always stocked with extra undies, diapers, and yummy snacks. Never is it down to three almost dried out wipes, an under-sized diaper, and Nutri-Grain bars that have been smashed to smithereens.
I did not recently ask my four year old to “Please be quiet. For the rest of the day.” At 10:00 am. Nope. No Way. Not Me. I always encourage my children to be the most outgoing and extroverted versions of themselves, all day, everyday.
Recently while texting a friend on my iPhone regarding the awesomeness that is preschool potty talk, I did not switch over to my computer and start iMessaging a completely different person by mistake. A person who got an eyeful regarding a four year old and his love for all words related to bodily functions. A person who I had just met for a playdate for the first time with our daughters the day before. Nope. No way. Not me. I always carry on relevant and appropriate conversations with new acquaintances. (Fingers crossed she wants to hang out again.)