- Truth: If you serve more than two meals a day in a vehicle, you are a road warrior. If you have, at any given time, ice packs in coolers filled with snacks & dinner, you are a road warrior. If you actually have cutlery in your SUV, you are classified as a high grade road mama.
- Truth: If you have multiple outfits in your trunk and at any given time someone is swapping dance tights for shin guards in your minivan, you are a road warrior.
- Truth: If you get excited when you see a garbage can and you can literally dump an entire bag of water bottles, granola bar wrappers, and empty GoGo squeeZ into it, you are a road mama!
- Truth: Your children’s activities will be at opposite locations in the Valley. These activities take place in a 10 minute window where only if you hit all green lights and drove 20mph faster than the speed limit could you ever be on time. You will have to decide which child you will leave stranded at a field or gym to wait for the delayed pickup. Your child with then use this guilt to get you to buy him an iPhone 6 to “stay in contact with you.” (Still saying NO!)
- Truth: In the rare instance when you have time to kill before a pickup, there will be no Target or Starbucks in sight. All soccer fields are located by gas stations and office parks that close by 5pm. (Try grocery shopping at a Quick Trip – beef jerky and Icees for dinner!) If, miraculously, there is a Target, you will use your 45 free minutes spending $115 on items you don’t really need from the house wares section.
- Truth: If you have lap desks, pencils sharpeners, and mini lights stashed in your car for the kids to attempt homework while driving home, you are a road warrior. Do not check Math while driving: long division and the steering wheel do not mix!
- Truth: When you do hit your driveway, it will be 9:15pm. Your children will be tired, agitated and still hungry. You will shlep 50 bags of schools books and sports gear into the house. Your wonderful husband will greet you at the door and ask the innocuous question –“What’s for dinner?” You will hand him a Slim Jim and a blue raspberry Icee.
