Thinking about having another baby? Wait, back up!….Have you had your first baby yet? (Start there, first, trust me!) Regardless, when it comes to wanting to have children, some girls “know” from childhood, or thereabouts. Some girls begin to know in adolescence or pre-adulthood. Some young women, during or post-college, come to the feeling that they look forward to becoming mothers someday. Other ladies take some additional time during the course of their twenties and thirties to come to a conclusion, one way or the other. It does become tricky though to decide what to do after the first child. There are so many different factors to consider: Personal, professional, societal, religious, financial, medical, family of origin’s number of siblings, hypothetically “ideal” age-intervals between children, and MORE…the list goes on! Something that we often grow up assuming is that all of this, especially the exact number of children we are going to have (or if we’re able to have children at all), is simply going to be up to us, and us alone. Yes? Sometimes.
A Love Note for the Onlys
As an only child myself, I can also speak to the reassurance that if for whatever reason this becomes your circumstance, willingly or unwillingly – never fear! This can also turn out very well! Potentially, it provides many advantages, only some of which are development of a self-reliant or leadership character, more national and international travel opportunities while growing up; and, an uncommon “ease” toward paying for a college education. That list goes on, too…!
Our Goal
Whether you have one or more children, what is at stake here with sound decision-making is our bottom-line, the goal: To do right by an innocent, tiny human being dependent on you to make your very best efforts to care for them and raise them well, according to your highest standards of how you define “good parenting”.
BUT THAT’S NOT THE WHOLE STORY, IS IT?! Now, the other shoe drops….
Know Your Biology
Fortunately, or unfortunately – however a person looks at it, the biological restrictions of maternal age are a real thing to contend with. For instance, it is generally common knowledge among fertility specialists that most healthy women can physically carry a pregnancy until approximately age 50. On the other side of the coin, is the stunning fact that at age 38, not only are there fewer healthy eggs to choose from but also, the risk of miscarriage suddenly, dramatically increases by 70%. At ages 40-plus, the chance of a (not easily achieved!) pregnancy, then developing into a case of fetal disability, is a heart-wrenching 80%. With all that and more to consider, it’s hard to think of a decision worthy of more consideration than having a baby, whether it’s the first baby – or the last of your children.
Maintain Self-Awareness
Thinking about having another baby? Clearly, there’s a lot to consider! It’s very important to identify your reasons and maintain self-awareness along the path you travel while you reach your conclusion. It’s definitely worth the fruits of those insights, especially when called upon during moments of uncertainty. No matter what, it’s guaranteed that there will be those times when you’ll inevitably wonder – as all Mamas do!…WHY-oh-why, you made the choices you did. Again, all the more reason to think things through. Bonus? YES. This process will ground you!
5 Reasons to See a Fertility Specialist, Even Without Obvious Fertility Issues
