Here are some research-based tips to help an introvert mama to thrive, regarding crib versus co-sleeping, and general personal wellness! There are two different schools of thought, which can be unfairly and inadequately distilled down to “fostering independence” versus “family-bed bonding.” This is not only a personal choice, like many of these decisions, but also a philosophical perspective. You may even be at odds with what your personal feelings are versus what is practical. That’s not even taking into account the baby’s personality or special health considerations. Don’t be surprised if, like almost everything else, this becomes more complicated than you expected, and your mind runs wild: “What should I do? What do I want to do? HOW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO CHANGE MY MIND?” BREATHE. Now, let’s account for the critical aspect of your personality as well, while you debate crib versus co-sleeping. This is often overlooked, if you’re an introvert, a person who requires some amount of time ALONE, for personal wellness. Yet, it definitely affects the quality of the care you deliver.
Whether you work outside the homelife or not, motherhood means that any moment alone is hard to come by, yet it’s absolutely necessary for an introvert. Knowing and applying this to what neuroscientist Friederike Fabritius described, in her recent article, “The 4 ‘Highly Coveted’ Skills that Set Introverts Apart,” here are some possible reasons why: Not only do introverts give their energy to people, especially if they’re also empathic (which maternal instincts can easily activate); but also, their personal battery never stops running down (cnbc.com; “make it”; 2/10/23).
See here, Mama-introvert! It’s not your imagination; your brain has been scientifically documented to almost never stop thinking, reasoning, and analyzing. Having a thicker layer of gray matter than extroverts sounds cool, yes – and, it’s great for sticking it out for lengthy problem solving but…you get tired. I mean, like more tired than “other people.” You also might’ve noticed that when you’re sorting out how you see the rights and wrongs of parenting, having formally or informally researched the issues, chances are you’re most swayed by the amazing results found from taking a deep dive with your moral compass. It does take a toll: the constant processing, the continuous output, the extended periods of focus – it can be exhausting. We mamas, introverts especially, must have moments and periods of time now and then (hopefully!), to re-charge…to stay in top form; to be the best mamas we can be!
Let’s use 5 Insights about Introverts to Help Us THRIVE, not just survive in Motherhood, and in Life:
- Boundaries: Ask to not be interrupted during certain tasks that are genuinely best done UN-interrupted (i.e. nursing a baby; our naps; bathing/grooming).
- Brainstorming: When asked for your ideas, if one or more don’t immediately pop out, tell whoever is asking that you need time to think, and you’ll get back to them.
- Get-togethers and Meetings: Set end-times. For meetings, try to schedule something following it that allows you to politely excuse yourself. These strategies also work for social engagements, which while enjoyable, can be more draining for introverts, especially when children are involved. (For example, “Sure let’s meet up! So, I’ll be good for about 2 hours and then my battery will be shot so, how about we say, 3-5pm? Can’t wait to see you!)
- Communication: It’s okay, introvert Mama, to advocate for your more comfortable (or even practical, if you’re juggling babies/kiddos) modes of communication, such as text and emails. Chances are that phone calls, especially platforms like FACETIME and Zoom, are not painless for you, if not awkward and uncomfortable. If the “camera-off” option is workable for an online scenario, you’re within your rights to let someone know that it’s your preference, or you’re just needing it to be that way – period.
- Privacy: Your work environment may or may not include a formal office, but if you need a separate space, preferably with a door, your wellness depends on you using it. Regardless, motherhood alone makes your home also a work environment, so make sure that you have private time and separate spaces. Consider how teaching your infant/child to sleep in their own space in their own room, as often as possible, can greatly boost your overall wellness and enhance the parenting performance of you, an introvert Mama, whose battery only recharges when alone.
Take to heart these tips for helping introvert moms to thrive, when it comes to crib versus co-sleeping, and wellness! Do also treat yourself, Mama, to being on the receiving end of pampering and care. Get thee to a salon or massage! Silence your phone for an hour, tune out or snooze out – just BE in the sensation of recharging….and bounce back with your A-game!
See these related articles on Scottsdale Moms:
Get Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night, Part 1: Get Prepared
