I hope you read that title to the tune of Usher’s “Confessions.”
I don’t enjoy making meals for my children. I enjoy cooking sometimes, trying new recipes, but more often than not, my kids don’t like the new stuff. In the fall, I found this amazing recipe for tomato soup. I made it with grilled cheese sammies, I was ready for the applause, I thought it was delish, but other than my husband, they all hated it.
Every night feels like such a battle, making something they will eat, not giving too many choices (this isn’t a restaurant!) But the only “hits” we have in the house are usually pre-made favs like dino nuggets, corn dogs or Costco chicken alfredo. Some nights I feel sad, that I’m not whipping up some fabulous healthy meal they all love, but other nights, I just microwave and hope they eat.
I lose my mind and temper with my kids at least once each morning. This is usually in the form of yelling and threatening. I start each morning like Snow White singing and hugging and painting the picture of a beautiful day, and end most mornings at drop-off like the Evil Queen. I spent the first 10 years of my therapy career as a child therapist, and yet, I still can’t get my own kids to just do the simple tasks that we do EVERY SINGLE DAY.
I have set up more chore charts and reward systems than I care to admit. I really don’t want my kids to end up spoiled and entitled brats and I do make them do chores, but more on a “this needs to get done, so do the chore so you can do the fun thing basis”
rather than the regimented, “these are the things we do every day” kind of way. I have tried popcicle sticks for allowance, point systems, apps, I have tried it all. Sadly, the fancy magnetic dry erase chore chart sits on the fridge, not having been updated for weeks.
I have a clothes chair in my master bedroom. I can barely (can’t) keep up with my kids clothes. I have 3 kids and never ending laundry piles. I do my best to have my 8 year old put hers away herself, the 5 year old has a bin of clean tops and clean bottoms so he has the autonomy of picking out his own clothes and I put away my 3 year olds clothes. But my clothes? Who has time for that. I tend to put my own needs last (another thing I am intentionally trying to change this year) and so my clothes get draped (to avoid wrinkles) over the back of a chair in my own room, until I get the rare spare moment where I feel motivated.
My kids are all in afterschool program, and some days when I finish work, I don’t go pick them up right away. Even when I have the full capability of doing so. Sometimes I read, sometimes I watch a show, sometimes I do somethings I need to catch up around the house in the quiet. I actually want to normalize this, make it not so much a confession, but maybe a takeaway. It is okay to use time away from kiddos to take care of yourself. Even if it is a small pocket of time. Release that guilt ladies!
I hope my confessions have made you all feel better about the things that maybe you feel bad, guilty or shameful about. Lets all normalize not being perfect, not having it all together, all having some “areas of need”.
Thank you for sharing these. It helps so much to know that we aren’t alone in the trenches. Hugs and hugs mama!
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