When you’re a mom deep in the trenches of a challenging stage with a child, it’s helpful to have other moms to confer with, to complain to, and to fully understand what you’re going through. But I’ve also found that having a BFF who is not a mom, can be just as wonderful and beneficial. Here’s why…
5 Reasons to Treasure a Non-Mom Friend
- They can often be there to assist you at a trying time when other mom friends are not available, because they are busy with their own kids.
My own BFF has rescued me a couple times over the years, when there was no one else who could make it work to travel to another state to help me out when I was moving with a newborn and a toddler, and then when I had an accident and couldn’t walk or drive for six weeks. She showed up and cooked, carpooled my kids, and did all the things, putting her life on hold to take care of us all.
- They are great at highlighting your kids’ best qualities.
Sometimes it’s easy to fixate on your own children’s worst traits, especially when they are driving you bananas. The stubbornness and sass of the toddler and teen years seem to rule their personalities for long stretches of time. But a best friend who isn’t weighed down with all that herself provides a refreshing perspective, and helps you focus on the good.
- Non-Mom friends always serve as a reminder of the non-parenting “real” world.
Like a beacon of excitement and potential, they can provide a necessary escape from the day-to-day reality of potty-training, and reading logs, and outrageous orthodontist fees. Mom burnout is real and being able to go out and spend time with a friend who has completely different priorities is always eye-opening and makes you and your kids appreciate each other much more when you return home.
- Non-Moms never allow you to fall too far down the rabbit hole of Mom complaints.
When you’re constantly around other moms with the same frustrations, it’s so easy to get caught up in a whirlwind of whining. Everyone can pile on to the aggravations of too much homework and the time-suck of extracurricular activities. But a good friend who isn’t dealing with any of that can listen and be sympathetic, but then move the conversation forward to something different that doesn’t prolong your misery. It’s refreshing and a wonderful shift in perspective.
- These friends also help make the transition to empty nester so much easier.
During my son’s last year of high school, whenever I’d mention I was starting to feel a little sad about my baby leaving home, my friend would remind me of all the fun that awaited us once I had more freedom to travel and fully embrace life without kids at home.
My non-mom BFF has, without a doubt, made me a better mother and has been my constant cheerleader from the minute I had my first baby. Sometimes an “outsider’s” perspective is the best gift an insider can have.