This past school year has been like none other I could have ever imagined. With the Coronavirus pandemic in full swing, our family made the decision to withdraw our 2nd grader from public school and homeschool him. We didn’t make this decision lightly, but it really seemed like it was the best and most logical choice for us. We withdrew our oldest from school back in October and I have been homeschooling him ever since. This past week, we made it official to enroll our kiddos back into public school for the upcoming school year. Homeschool is coming to an end and that is a wrap on that!
I’ve felt a great deal of mom guilt over the fact that I personally did not enjoy homeschooling as much as some of my other homeschooling mom friends did. I remember reading a Facebook post from one of my friends, who also decided to homeschool this year, detailing how they are all just thriving in this new season and that even though homeschool was not on her radar pre-Covid, she is so glad to have this opportunity and that they are most likely going to continue on with homeschooling. Honestly, I could not be happier for my friend and her children who are in this groove and doing so well. I, on the other hand, looked at her success and translated it into my failure.
I found homeschooling to be very challenging. I was totally unprepared and really just flying by the seat of my pants with very little outside support. I looked at my friend and fell into the comparison trap. Ugh. I hate being in that place! I was really hard on myself about how difficult of a time I was having. One day, as I sat in a meditation/prayer time, I received the message that my Maker didn’t put homeschooling on my heart and that made it OK for me that I didn’t totally love this experience. Even though I had always been mildly curious about homeschooling my children, now I know that this path is not for me to be on long term. I was not a failure. I did my best, all things considered. A huge sigh of relief washed over me with this ah-ha moment.
It’s the final push of getting our assignments done. I’ve signed my 2nd grader up for a summer bridge program to fill in some gaps. My incoming kindergartener will hopefully go to a Kinder Boot Camp. I didn’t screw them up and everything is going to be fine. As I look back on this past school year, one of the greatest lessons that stands out to me is the gratitude of time spent together. Time that included spontaneous road trips, visits to the zoo, school at the park and more. I think homeschooling is an amazing experience and I certainly give an enthusiastic high-five to the families who have committed to that way of life for any length of time. For me and my children, it’s time to wrap up this chapter of our life and I have a feeling that has I look back on it, I will simultaneously remember it with fondness and wonder how I didn’t pull all of my hair out.
I wrote more about my homeschooling journey in a previous article on Scottsdale Mom Collective and you can read about it here.