The Kids Are Going to Be Okay: Building Resilience in Our Children

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Hey mama, I can feel the motherhood collective is heavy with worry and uncertainty. Our worlds have been rocked and parenting at the moment may seem more daunting and overwhelming. My heart hopes you hear these words unmasked and without distance straight to the center of your heart: THE KIDS ARE GOING TO BE OKAY. 

One very certain thing I have witnessed as a former educator and definitely as a mother is children are born with resilient spirits. AND we too, as mamas, have that still harbored in our very being. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from stress, adversity, failure, challenges or even trauma. Throughout history, some of the most incredible inventions, medicines, and stories of unity have come from very unexpected circumstances and hard times. It is this very spirit of resilience we witness in children, that can reignite the flame within ourselves to embrace what IS and overcome.

Children are born with two fears: the fear of being startled and the fear of being dropped. Every other fear is learned. As we age, we grip tightly to narratives, routines, and habits in hopes that they guarantee safety and comfort, only to find they are the very root of suffering because nothing is ever learned in safety.

In our childhood, we learn how to walk, climb, ride a bike and many other things that always result in falling. It is in the getting up that children build their resilience. They are curious, brave, and they trust their instincts. How does a child lose resilience? It gets lost in INTERFERENCE. As parents, we never want our children to feel pain, so we shield them from the very things that build up their best defense, only found in their resilient spirits.

We build and keep resilience in children by allowing them to face problems and uncomfortable emotions. Have you ever witnessed a toddler say, “I do it MYSELF”? We are wired to want to figure things out. Allow them to feel the consequence of a failing grade or sitting on the bench. Allow them to struggle in friendships and feel rejection from their crush. By permitting all of life’s experiences, children are able to connect with others through compassion and empathy. Moreover, children who are permitted to struggle are healthier adults who can handle the challenges that come their way.

Most importantly, they learn resilience by watching you in your own journey to overcome. In this season, you get to team up with your kids to overcome together. Uncertainty was never meant to cause worry. It is a gift to our human spirits that we are made to overcome. I’m cheering you on mama! You’ve got this. We’ve got this!

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