The Mother of All Time: the Areas we Grow as Mothers

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Dear Mama,

I see you and feel you in this very unexpected and uncharted territory called The Great Quarantine of 2020. You have been called to a level of motherhood maybe you felt not ready for or even unqualified. Yet, you are doing it. Maybe it’s messy and not so graceful, but celebrate you and what you are doing because guess what? Your kiddos like messy and ungraceful and the only thing that matters to them right now is the TIME you are investing in them. Your presence is their most valued possession and TIME is your greatest commodity. Doesn’t the old cliche say, “The days are long, but the years are short?”

I reached out to the mamas I know asking what they are learning about themselves as mothers, TIME seemed to be a common thread. Time is a valuable gem with many facets. And I was quite intrigued by what I learned from all of you. I found three areas to be prominent: scheduling, self-care, and reflection.

For some mothers, many have discovered how over scheduled their kids have been. Let’s face it, sports and hobbies are no longer seasonal, but have become year round. Clubs and other organizations involve so much more than the actual event. The drive time alone can swallow your calendar. There are absolutely so many benefits to our kids in being part of any team or social activity, but it seems as if we have discovered that these activities have now become our identity rather than just that…an activity. Time for these mamas has meant rest and connecting and learning about each other in different ways. This revelation will become a great new vision for balance as we create this new normal.

Additionally, many mothers shared they felt selfish for not wanting to be with their kids all day. Let’s face it, homeschooling alone can wipe a mother out! Honestly, I am over first grade. Every single human needs an outlet. We are allowed and we do have permission to find time to rejuvenate. For me, recharging makes me a nicer human and a better mother. So take the bath, close the door and breathe for ten minutes and if you are daring, lock the bathroom door while you are peeing.

A mama of older children bravely shared her heart with me about having time redeemed between herself and her older children. She had reflected so much on the things she never felt brave enough to do or say and took advantage of the time given back to her. When her children were younger she never felt she could play or color or ride bikes with them because she was taught that mothers didn’t do that. She felt so inspired that she and her kids have done exactly that…all of the coloring and riding bikes and playing all the games.  

Time is something not one of us can purchase or try and retrieve. We can either spend it and get nothing out of it, or we can invest it and receive a bigger return. In all of its uncertainty, the Great Quarantine of 2020 has been an awakening to us all of what we value. It is obvious that time with the ones we love is of greater wealth. As mothers we can get caught up in the comparison, over scheduling, old paradigms of mothering and quite frankly it has sucked the life and time out of us. Whatever you have discovered about yourself and parenting during this unprecedented life event, I encourage you in YOUR new normal and how you will value the gift of TIME.

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