My favorite title is Mama. Mom. Mommy. Whatever my children call me. I am the only person on earth that gets that title to my three. Gosh, I’m so incredibly grateful.
This job is so good, so hard, so beautiful. It can also be ugly, weird, and all that is in between. I have moments where I cry because I am so in love with my babies and feel the gift it is to be their mama. And moments of crying because I just cannot stand one more minute with the three crazies sucking the life from me. It’s the weird balance that is motherhood.
I work very hard to be intentional. It doesn’t come naturally to me. It’s easy for me to wake up and manage each moment as it comes. That ends up leading to life happening TO me, which inevitably leaves me wishing I’d done things differently. That’s why, when it comes to my role as Mama, I try to be intentional with my thoughts, time, and actions. I believe, though, that it all starts with our thoughts. I am parenting my children to become adults, which is what they are for most of their lives. Right? Even though it seems like their ours for forever. I focus on what I can do now that will help them become better functioning members of society as well as self aware, confident, loving individuals. Without intention in the little moments, how can I expect to be intentional in the big ones?
It starts with my thoughts. How can I show my children an abundance of grace? When one (or all?) of my children start throwing a screaming fit, I work really hard to have a loving reaction. If it’s a good day my patience comes out first. If it’s a rough day? My anger. So I filter my thoughts first.
“I am so grateful that I get to be the one to teach my child through this anger. I am so thankful I am here to show him/her love.”
The voices my children hear in these moments are the ones they will carry with them through their lives. I do this with all the things that are hard for me, and that might be different depending on the day. I find when I filter my thoughts to be grateful and adjust my expectations, I can be much more loving in those hard moments. Also, I choose to be their mama no matter how hard it gets. Especially in those hard moments. What a gift.
This also rings true for all of the other “stuff” that comes with being a parent, spouse, home keeper, etc.
“I’m grateful I have food to cook.”
“I’m grateful I have a house to clean.”
When I am grumpy or ungrateful, I become grumpier and more ungrateful when I think about it. I start believing and knowing that’s how I feel, which guides my actions. I switch my thoughts to, “I choose to take great care of my children, and that means this comes with it.” It’s amazing how powerful your thoughts are. I go from being stuck in the grumpy to grateful that I get to do “hard things.” My thoughts guide my actions, and if that’s the case, I want my actions to be loving and full of grace.
What I find is that when I work really hard on my intentionality, it’s MUCH easier to give myself grace in those moments when I’m having a hard time. It’s much easier to say “this is a hard day/moment,” and move on from it. I’m much easier on myself when I don’t respond in a loving way, when I yell, when I’m impatient, etc. because I know I work hard to give my children a grateful, loving mom with an abundance of grace.