Currently we are in the midst of a very tight budgeting season. 2018 was not an easy one and led to a challenging 2019. We now have to watch every single dollar we spend. We are so incredibly blessed, though, because we know this is a very first world problem. We truly are “rich” and we are more than fine.
When the budget is as tight as it’s been, I’ve had to re-think everything I do. My brain immediately starts thinking about how I can bring in more money and how much easier it’d make…everything. Then I start thinking about my why. I get one shot with these three children of mine. We have chosen to homeschool and chosen for me to be home. I choose time.
I’ll choose it again and again.
As the saying goes, “it goes by so fast, enjoy every second.” Well, I’ll do just that. Every second. Okay, maybe not every second… because sometimes my kids make me crazy (amiright?!). But most seconds. And if this time goes by as fast as I hear it does, then doesn’t that mean that this time of our extreme budget will go by fast too? When I tuck my kids into bed at night, no matter what our day was like, I miss them. I look at their sweet, angelic faces and I don’t care what happened that day. All I think about is the good. I know that I’m going to look back on my time at home with my babies with that same sentiment. It’s not going to matter how much money we had. What’s going to matter is what we did with what we DO have. And that is time.
Right before sitting down to write, I had a breakdown. A cry. A moment when I was just sad. Holy cow, it’d be so much easier if I didn’t have to budget every. single. thing. If I could buy myself new clothes. Or throw big birthday parties for both my fall-born babies. Or just go out to a restaurant without counting every penny. Sometimes I need to be sad. I need to sit in the “I’m not okay.” Once I sit in that for a moment or two or three, I can pick myself up and move on. Because, truly, time. That’s my choice. Time with my babies.