Dear Uninvolved Parents,
Shortly after I got married, you specifically asked me to wait five years to have children. Well, apparently God had other plans, and we ended up having our first baby after only two years of marriage. You were such great parents to me, that I just assumed you’d also be wonderful grandparents. I had envisioned that you would be involved in our kids’ lives on a regular basis…that they would see you as another parental figure. Someone they know, someone they can trust.
But since having your first grandchild, the truth is, you’ve become quite un-involved in their lives.
Perhaps it’s because you are busy. Or maybe you are tired of parenting in general, and being a grandparent feels like an extension of that? Maybe you are trying to not ‘get in the way,’ and give us the space to parent as we see fit. Whatever the reason may be, honestly, it basically sucks.
And I feel the need to let you know, mom and dad, the ones my kids call Grandma and Grandpa…that your grandchildren won’t be little forever. And you are missing so much.
You are missing the way they laugh and squeal when someone walks through the door. And the tears and snuggles after they get a boo boo.
You are missing how it feels when they say ‘I wuv you,’ and ‘You want to pway ball with me?”
You are missing when they learn to crawl, and then walk, ride a bicycle, and every milestone in between.
You may be happy to be missing the tantrums and meltdowns and time-outs, but with that you also miss the made-up songs, dances, and all the ways they make us laugh hysterically every day.
I’m not asking for a free babysitter (although I won’t lie, that would be a dream come true). I’m not asking for you to give up the things that are important to you. All I’m asking is that your grandchildren become one of those things. And that you try to make time, on a regular basis, to invest in them.
There are lessons in life that I want them to learn from YOU. I want them to know that they have grandparents who adore them, love them, and find them so very special. The wisdom you have gained over the years is valuable, and needed, and WANTED. I want you to chime in and offer advice, even if I may not agree…we just need you present in our lives. We need your love and support and guidance.
Because no one can replace you.
So tomorrow, know that we are here, as we are every day, with arms wide open. And we would love a text, or a phone call, or better yet, for you to carve out some time in your day to spend with us.
We love you Grandma and Grandpa.