Raising kids shouldn’t be this hard. Wherever I am, I should be somewhere else. Oh the lies I tell myself. I’m not enough. I should be further along. Someone else could do a better job raising my children than me. The piles of laundry and dirty dishes felt like they represented the chaos of my life. A bad couple of days convinced me it was a bad life. And to make matters worse, the lies I heard were spoken in my own Southern accent. Weird, huh? Research suggests that our internal dialogue is 10x faster than we can speak. Now that’s fast.
Raising kids IS hard. Of course it is. You’re only one person and there’s like a million things to do, as you’re pulled from side to side like a game of tug of war. There are all the ups and downs, the laughter, the tears, the tough times, the celebrations. The carpool chaos of loading and unloading. A quick trip to Target feels like you’re moving. Carseats, strollers, diapers. And the teens will eat you out of house and home. The milk you bought yesterday, gone. There’s nothing glamorous about waking up at 3am to feed a screaming baby, or having to discipline a teen when you’d rather be their friend. One minute they think you hung the moon and the next, they’re asking you to drop them off two blocks from school. Just yesterday, they were like a sweet little Goldendoodle, the star of the playground, and the next, a persnickety cat who only comes out when they smell food. Life ebbs and flows as it offers us many hats for the roles we play, navigating change and transitions at every turn.
We’re always someone’s someone, learning, growing, becoming. And whether it’s your first child or your fifth, because they are a different human, with different experiences and personalities, navigating all the variables, each one seems like a first. Your family has unique qualities. Instead of comparing, let’s celebrate them. You were perfectly partnered with your child, to raise them to the best of your ability. In Scottsdale, we are surrounded by glorious mountains. Both Pinnacle Peak and Camelback have distinct features. The hiking experience, the terrain, the elevation, the view. It’s important to celebrate their specific attributes. Comparing only denies their uniqueness.
Did you feed your kids today? Did they have a warm bed to sleep in? Is there love in your home? Then congratulations! You’re the best mom ever.
Stop comparing your house, your car, your kids to your neighbors. Stop using comparison as a measuring stick to rank your success. Pinch yourself for being so amazing. You are loving, feeding, cooking, cleaning, raising pre-schoolers to productive citizens.
Agatha Christie once said, “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”
Talk about the motherhood advantage, moms. We’re nailing it. Let’s quit being so hard on ourselves, thinking we can do everything at once and do it well. That’s not human. Not even a cape or a magic wand can pull it off. Let’s set ourselves up for success, grateful for our uniqueness. We are all staggered along life’s path, a journey exclusive to our own pilgrimage. Here’s to your awesomeness and nailing Motherhood. Want to be inspired, check out this Mom’s Night Out Event with Karen Stubbs of Birds on a Wire, March 7th here in Scottsdale to celebrate Living Your Best Life. See you there.