9) You bake cookies for the neighbors. And then bake more to actually take to the neighbors.
8) The fur-lined parkas come out in droves. (It is sub-70, after all.)
7) You spend hundreds of dollars at Costco, yet purchase not one food item. #garlandfordays!
6) You step on an ornament hook and almost-just-almost wish it had been a Lego.
5) Your toddler thinks “pie” is synonymous with “breakfast.” As in: “Who ordered this oatmeal? Take back these pancakes. I shall only eat pie.”
4) You make fudge for the neighbors. And then decide it required too much work to be given away…
3) The $150 for an indoor tree which you will keep for mere weeks suddenly looks like a “Great Deal.”
2) You suffer from Acute Hyperaddressmatosis of the Phalanges: A seasonal condition in which one’s dominant hand suffers transient but intense cramping and deformity secondary to lengthy sessions of card addressing.
1) You visit Amazon.com so often that it requests to become your home page, and your friendly neighborhood UPS guy (Mike) earns himself one of those holiday cards. #hiagain