We here at Scottsdale Mom’s Blog are very excited to  introduce you all to our newest contributor Jenny Castle!  We know you all will love getting to know her just as much as we have! (Read more about Jenny in her bio following this post)

“What is puberty”?…..my innocent 8 year old daughter asked inquisitively.

This is the day I have dreaded, but knew would come. This is the slippery slope of maintaining innocence not yet needing to be forced to mature. My daughter is wide eyed and awaits my response. My throat goes dry. I immediately remember the American Girl Book she received as a birthday present: The Care and Keeping of YOU (1) the Body Book for Younger Girls.

The “brain” side of me tells me to run and get the book, but my “heart” tells me to pause and slow down. After a few deep breaths I begin the questioning:

Where did you hear that word?

What do you think it means?

What specifically are your questions?

My daughter is uncomfortable and nervous to talk. She looks like she thinks she is saying a dirty word that should not be spoken. She explains a friend asked her if she was “in it” and then told her it will happen soon. She tells me she is breaking a secret talking to me and begins to tear up.

I first tell her I appreciate her bravery in breaking the secret and confiding in me. I tell her that sometimes secrets need to be broken to protect someone or herself. Without understanding why she was keeping a secret in the first place, shows me she is responsibly protecting herself and the pursuit of gaining the correct knowledge.

My heart skips a beat and breaks a little.

I am sad for all types of crazy reasons! First, “puberty” is not a dirty word that needs to be whispered shamefully. Secondly, her timid approach in talking to me scares me. I want her to always come to me with the hard questions!  Lastly, I feel a little robbed of the opportunity to prepare her to be a blossoming young woman.

I answered her specific questions about body hair, deodorant, and bras. All issues that are easy to explain in a “matter of fact” way. She starts to talk faster, relax and act natural, and accept that these changes will happen to her.  She confesses she is scared that she does not know when these changes will occur and is somewhat afraid. I tell her every young woman feels the exact same way and that these are feelings she is not experiencing alone!

We leave the conversation in a good place.

She is still innocent and not overwhelmed with information she is not ready for or needs to know at this time. I ask her not to share her knowledge with friends unless asked and even then to encourage her friends to ask their parents. I know this advice will not last long.  I know soon enough my motherly advice will be replaced by the voices of her teenage friends. But I have a few years left to influence her…and I want her to know this journey is a personal one. A journey that; as a mother, I would like to be the one to advise her on the first few steps. Advise her not to get caught up in the “puberty” race. Not to compare her journey with her friends. To accept this journey at the pace her body has chosen. Above all, to know, no matter how old she is, never hesitate to ask me questions!! I will always be the one person she can trust to be non-judgmental, open, and honest.

A real life lesson has begun for my daughter today at our kitchen table…………the reality that she is growing up is rapidly sinking in. My heart beats faster and my brain is confused whether to be sad or happy.

I choose to be both.