My car used to be clean. Like really clean. All the time.
Then I had children.
Sometimes I forget I have children and I spend a few hours and a lot of money to have my car detailed.
Then I’m reminded that yes, I definitely have children…
And my car might never be clean again.
So here are the top 7 reasons why a mom need not waste her time detailing her car:
1. I know I said no food in the car… but…You always say they’ll be “No eating in the car!” You’re lying. You know you’re lying; your kids know you’re lying; your husband knows you’re lying. Most importantly the woman at the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru knows you’re lying.
2. There is no such thing as a “leak-proof” sippy-cupThere isn’t. No matter what the package says. Are the people who made the package going to clean up the apple juice all over my seat pocket?
3. Sandboxes at PreschoolI’ve heard sand is good for sensory development in preschool-age children. I don’t care. I hate sandboxes. “No… no… wait! Please don’t take your shoes off in the car!”
4. Art projects with glitter.I remember when used to like “sparkly things”.
5. Sunscreen handprintsSkin cancer or smeared windows? You have no choice here. You have to put sunscreen on your children, and they have to smear it on the windows.
6. Dirty Stroller TiresTan interior is beautiful… for someone who never carries a stroller in her trunk. Or, maybe someone who never lets their stroller touch the ground?
7. GoldfishI know I already listed “food” but these tiny, sadistic, aquatic-shaped monsters deserve a category all their own. They are the landmine of children’s snack food. Under every seat belt and floor mat lies an explosion of artificially colored bright orange crumbs. Also, they are delicious and sometimes I eat them in my car too.