You Might be a Dance Mom If……….

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1)     Your grocery runs are exciting! You have a shopping list with the following items: a) black fish-net hose b) red lipstick c) false eyelashes Hot date with your husband? Not quite! These are necessary 8-year old accessories for a Jazz dance number. 

2)      You are a beauty expert… sorta. You have watched quite a few you tube videos on how to roll hair in the perfect sock bun or apply 3 shades of eyeshadow in the perfect fashion for your tween dancer. You would think that this would translate over to impeccable hair styling and makeup application for yourself, but, truth be told, you are too tired after prepping your tiny dancer to worry about your makeup.

dance mom blog3)      You own every imaginable styling tool!  Hairspray (the cheaper the better), Maximum Hold hair gel, curling irons ( ¼ inch, ½ inch, 1 inch barrel), hair bands ( in exact tone of daughter’s  hair), bobby pins (over 1000)eye glue (keep that shadow on after artful application, stage makeup ( think scary close up in natural light- perfect for 10 rows back in dim theatre under halogen lighting), sewing kit (straps break!), tape (if you can’t sew, this will work in a pinch), sharpie ( a dressing room with 100 dancers + pale pink ballet shoes= LABEL or LOSE! Spoken from experience!)

4)    Snacks You know which snacks are messy and which that can be consumed after costume and makeup have been applied while your dancer waits 4 hours at a dress rehearsal to perform her 3 minute “Waltz of the Flowers” ballet routine. (FYI- tested and approved items include: pretzels, mini vanilla wafers, sour patch kids, gummi bears, and water with a straw)

5)    The Wispies issue You have received ominous emails from your dance studio with subject matter such as “ NO Wispies” (eg. hair needs to be secure and slicked back and unmovable even if an earthquake shakes Scottsdale to its core). You print and reread these emails and assure all details are followed to a T. You are back in school and you have “Dance Mom” tests to pass

6)     Your Superbowl is recital time! This is not for the weak or faint hearted – you have costume prep,  dress rehearsals, 2 shows, and finale. You are ready…. Lights, Camera… Dance Mom delivers once again!