8 Mommy Truths {Wit and Wisdom from a Real Mom!}

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8 mommy truths

  1. Never trust a mommy with clean SUV or minivan. It means one of 2 things. Either she doesn’t let her kids eat in the car OR she vacuums her car daily. Both are scary propositions.
  2. Your mommy friends usually are not your kids’ best friends’ moms (unless your kid is 18-months-old and she thinks her best friend is whoever is drooling next to her on the parachute at Gymboree). Accept it and remember: She who pays for the birthday party may add guests to the list. 
  3.  Just when you get comfortable/organized with Mommyhood, life will throw you a curveball. My latest curveball is 4th grade science and my son’s new found interest in GMOs and what we are eating. (Just an FYI it is virtually impossible to pack a GMO free lunchbox unless you live on an Organic farm or make a gazillion $)
  4.  There is a moment in every mommy’s life when she knows that her own mother is laughing at the situation in which she currently finds herself.  Latest for me? Being stuck in glitter-neon-steroid-world-tween-clothing-empire,” Justice”!  As I watch my beautiful daughter, who used to wear monogrammed bishop dresses demand short shorts and a glitter shirt with I Heart Dance emblazoned on it. I remembered right then and there my Espirit crop-top, frosted pink lipgloss, and Sun-In permed hair and I knew that somewhere my mom was laughing.
  5.  I am convinced the Stay at Home vs. Working Mothers perceived “Mommy War” battle was created by a man who continues to think this is a relevant divisive topic. Newsflash! Real moms are  way too busy to judge or participate in this nonsense
  6.  Pinterest., Facebook, Twitter are timesucks. There, someone had to say it!  Use in moderation only.
  7.  There will always be a better dance studio, soccer team, karate dojo, and cheer gym. Make your life easier and pick one close to your house. Your car and your sanity will thank you. Plus 99% of our kids are not going pro in cheerleading.
  8. If you are caught in a grocery store, airplane, or other public venue and your screaming child is causing folks to stare and take notice. Don’t cower away! Catch their eye and say in your sugary sweet voice “Don’t you just love children?” It works every time – stop’em right in their tracks.

 

 

 

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