It’s Hard Being a Mom: Trials of a First-Time Mom

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Melissa Young Photography

I have been a mommy now for almost five months, and it has been amazing…but it has also been hard. Not hard like, oh crap I didn’t get to shower today, hard. Hard like, I feel like a failure sometimes, defeated and broken down, hard.

Everyone told me that being a mom is the best and most trying job there is. I knew that it wasn’t going to be all baby giggles and play dates, but I honestly didn’t expect it to have so many ups and downs. There are days where Braylen naps amazingly, sleeps through the night, smiles 90% of the time he is awake, and totally makes me feel like he loves his mommy more than anything in the world..then there are the other days. The days where he only sleeps for 45 minutes on the dot of his two hour naps. Days where he fusses and cries 90% of the time, regardless of if he has my full attention or not. Days where I feel like no matter what I do, its wrong and its not helping him. You know those women who swear that their baby only has rough days on the days where they have to get a lot done, you know- to sabotage the mom? Well sometimes I feel like that! Even though even sane brain cell I have tells me otherwise!

The lack of sleep in the beginning is no joke. It makes you emotional, irrational, and just beyond exhausted. Then their sleep gets better, and then they have weeks where they are off. I know some people don’t get that effected by lack of sleep, and I am so not one of those. When I am exhausted I am a freaking hot mess. And by hot, I mean in my PJs all day, with brushing my teeth for the first time after lunch. Beyond physically being tired, it takes a huge toll on my emotions. When I am sleep deprived that is when I really doubt my abilities as a mommy. I question what I am doing with him, is it the best for him? Can I do something better to help whatever the situation is? How do I struggle this much when I am blessed with a perfectly healthy baby, when other moms have other things stacked against them? Am I the only one who just needs to step out of the room for a minute to gather their thoughts, collect themselves, and say a prayer?

Alas, there is a bright side to this. At the end of the day, I am a mom. A sometimes tired and over emotional, sometimes irrational, but always Braylens mommy. He loves me. He knows my scent, my voice, my smile. I am able to comfort him better than anyone. He smiles the biggest when I make my ridiculous donald the duck voice. He giggles everytime I swing him in my arms. He rests his sweet sweet body against mine after his Dream Feed, and somehow no matter how big he is getting, it fits perfectly every time.

Being a first time mom is a ride. A bumpy, hard, and beautiful ride. I am not writing this to scare any of you who aren’t moms yet, simply so that if/when you feel any of these emotions, you know you are not alone. You are not the first one to feel this way. And yes, there are still going to be hard days, but the beautiful ones always outweigh the hard ones. Afterall, no matter how tough the middle of the night was, I always get the biggest most beautiful smile in the morning..and that…makes it all worth it.

Melissa Young Photography

Do you feel the same at all? Any advice for other first time moms? You know, other than the obvious advice of when all else fails, eating a big bowl of ice cream.

12 COMMENTS

  1. I am a first time mom and my son is 1 year old now, I still feel the same way, i still have the good days and the bad ones… Sometimes is so overwhelming that I cry! But I always says… Living and learning, I am still learning to be a mom… It is not easy!, but it is an amazing and the best experience.

    • Lily,
      Thanks for your encouragement and honesty! I am sure it will continue on for me too, but isn;t that life in general- good days and bad days?! You are doing a fantastic job:)

  2. I’m not a mom yet, & I’m kind of terrified of it. My mom says I am delusional about how hard it will be. But everyone always says it’s so much harder than they think it will be & I’m just like, it can’t POSSIBLY be harder than I think it will be. I think in my mind I leave out all the good/happy/lovely stuff & can only think about the hard things. I feel like I wont be strong enough… I’m told you just make it work though, so I guess we’ll find out eventually…

    • Sarah,
      It does have its days where its hard, but TRULY the good days, moments, memories FAR outwight the hard times. I promise! So please dont leave out the good stuff when you think of becoming a mommy. And, I have friends that function amazing on little sleep- so you might be on e of those lucky ones, but if not- you do- you get through. And then you get your first smile, and giggle, and so on…and its all worth it!

  3. I am so thankful that you were so honest about your experience as a mother! I just got home from my first shift back to work (part time as an esthetician…crazy that you are one too!!!), leaving my 8 week old son at home with my husband while he worked from home…which we thought was the perfect situation. My son cried the entire time, my husband got no work done, and it was the hardest day ever for all of us. I will be giving my notice at my job tomorrow, at least for now. I honestly didn’t expect being a mom to be so difficult or to feel so torn inside any time I have to leave him. I found your blog when I was about 6 months pregnant, and I love it!

    • Aly,
      I am so sorry your first day back was so hard. We all do what we have to do to make our situations work, so if that means you staying at home- then enjoy it:) Love that your an estie too:) I will say that when Bray was that young he did have a harder time being content with others, but now is a lot easier. I think in general with babies under a year, for the most part, they get easier and easier. Then theres the whole actually having to ‘parent’ them that gets hard;) Good luck with your new situation, I am sure it will be great!

  4. I have been reading your DIY/home blog for about 1 1/2 years and I really enjoyed all your posts. I didn’t expect to hear so much complaining about lack of sleep after you started posting after Braylen was born. I can’t recall one single post after Braylen was born that you didn’t complain about lack of sleep. I think it’s great that you are “keeping it real”, but honestly, enough already about the sleep situation. It’s part of having a baby. We get it – you need sleep, but you sound sorta selfish when you talk about it in every post.

  5. I loved reading your post, as someone who struggles when I get 7 hours of sleep instead of 8, I know I will go through the exact same thing as you have been when we start our family.

    There will always be people who try to edit you, or bring you down, or make you more like them. Your experiences & feeling the need to write about something is meant for someone else, to inspire someone & help someone, like me. Forget about those who openly criticize you, they do not have your best interest in mind. I love your blog, keep going & know you are loved.

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