This is Part 3 in a series on mom-to-mom friendships by Scottsdale Moms Blog co-founder Joy Cherrick. If you missed them, be sure to check out Part 1 (Think Before You Speak) and Part 2 (Sharing Life).
If you’ve spent more than ten minutes with me, you will know that location is a BIG DEAL to me. Since my time with my children and time with my husband are a top priority, often girlfriends take second billing.
If we don’t live close to each other, we won’t swap kids, drop by, grab a quick play time at the park while killing an hour before dinner.
We just won’t. It’s not that I don’t think you’re the coolest cat! It’s not that I don’t think that you are an amazing mom and I just want all of your mommy powers to please rub off on me… No, it’s just because we don’t live near each other. And, I’d say that no more than 5-10 minutes away. I know. That seems silly. But it’s just the way it is.
In our world of trains, planes and automobiles, we don’t usually think much of hopping in the car and grabbing a bite to eat or hitting up the mall in the summer for the AC and kids play area… unless you have two small children who need naps and food and diaper changes in the midst of said outing. Here’s what I’m thinking when invited to go someplace 15-20+ away from home:
“I need to pack a snack for R, formula for E. Check. Now diapers, wipes, cream (he’s got a rash)… wait, I need a change of clothes because that park has a water feature (WHY do they have water features?). Ok, if I leave now, I can feed him when I get there and Reagan can have a snack. Oh, I forgot to get water! (To Reagan: “Please put on your shoes, we are going to the park!” Reagan: “I don’t want to” or “Where’s my other shoe?” or “NOOOO!”) Wait! I forgot that I’m bringing back that thing I borrowed………..”
You get the point, it’s not the end of the world, and it’s totally worth it to actually leave the house, but when a friend lives 10 minutes away I usually just check to make sure I have a change of diapers and some wipes, throw them in a bag and call it good! And, as a result, I actually stop by more often!
How does location affect your day and your friendships? Have you moved to live closer to friends or family? What are the pros and cons?
So true. I also think ahead to when kids are old enough to ride bikes and walk independently, and as transient as this area sometimes is, my hope is that we live in a neighborhood where my kids’ friendships are also enhanced by proximity. Love the idea of a neighborhood where older kids walk/bike freely to and from one another’s houses and get to experience outdoor, independent, free range play.
its funny you mention location. my husband and i live in north phoenix, but do life (work,schools, family, friends, shop, eat…) in the Scottsdale area. we recently left our church in the glendale/peoria area (which we love our friends at) to find a new church where we do life. we plan to move into the area before our kids start school (we have one child now, she is 16 months).
i would agree that location of friends is key. i feel like my best friends with kiddos that i would love to see live far away. (glendale area) praying that finding a new church will be a step in the right direction… literally.
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