A Rally Cry for Being Real

5

Can I be honest with you? I can?  Oh good.  Great, thanks.

I have kind of been in a Mom funk lately.  In the midst of day-to-day activities and the monotony of motherhood I just can’t seem to find the joy.  I mean do these little people really have to get hungry three times a day?  Wait, don’t answer that.  Yes of course they do, but do I have to be the one to fix them all the food?  Ok, don’t answer that one either.

The point is that it’s tough going here, friends, and I just want to be honest that in our Pinterest-divine/Facebook-perfect/Instagram-the-beautiful/Tweet-the-hilarious snapshots of life sometimes it really looks nothing like that!

People come to counseling for a variety of reasons but the underlying theme I see in most of my clients is a deep desire to have someone resonate with their imperfections.  The vulnerable, brave people that sit in my office are looking for someone to give them permission in the midst of grief or tragedy or more often than not, a simple bump in the road of life, to NOT have to have it all together.  And you know what?  I do this with great joy.

I consider it a gift I can give them in those 50 minutes of togetherness.  I trust they see it that way.  And virtually I would like to give you that gift as well.  You just don’t have to have it all together.  I’m serious. You can stop trying if you need to; stop worrying, stop over-analyzing, or thinking you might not be fill-in-the-blank enough for something.  It is more than OK to be exactly where you are in this moment of motherhood because we can’t ever always have it all together.  It’s a miracle really that you even had a minute to yourself to sit down and check our blog today because the demands that are placed on you are extreme.  You have little people that need to be fed and attended to as well.  You have hearts to invest in and souls to grow and the tiling of the soil of childhood is very hard work.  You don’t have to do it perfectly.  And really, you just can’t.  None of us can.  When we start to give ourselves permission to be normal human beings and not super mom you will find that you place a lot less pressure on yourself.

I don’t assume anything about our readers, all I know is that you are most likely a mom and really for me, that is all I need to know to tell you that you are doing a wonderful job.  How do I know?  Because I am right there with you and I have to remind myself of this truth often.  My moments might not all be wonderful, my joy might be lost, my temper might flare, and my patience worn out, but we are doing it.  Day in and day out, we get up in the night, we are spit and spilled upon, we are demanded of and whined at, and we are rarely thanked, but we keep on going because we love these little people more than our hearts could ever describe. 

I write these words with conviction because I need to tell them to myself right along with you.  They are a proclamation of sorts; that I am done comparing or judging, lamenting my failures and over-analyzing my shortcomings. I just want to be comfortable not having it all together. My counselor self would tell my client self that it is totally and completely OK to be just where I am.  I am going to make mistakes, I am going to slip up but those aren’t the moments that will define me as a mother.  My children will eventually define my mothering and that definition develops over time- a very long time (Thank the Lord)- that has a multitude of moments.

Let’s celebrate all the moments- mundane and magnificent, Facebook worthy and not, let’s celebrate the 20 step craft projects as well as the paper towel tube that becomes a sword or drumstick or magic wand.  Let’s celebrate the detailed menus as well as the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Let’s celebrate the fine motor skills development lessons as well as the spilled cheerios that can serve the same purpose.

Let’s just celebrate all of it.

Let’s celebrate the fact that we don’t have to be Super Mom and while we are celebrating, let’s just celebrate the fact that in this crazy season we are in, we are not alone.  Press on fellow warrior; you are doing a great job. 

photo credit: Flickr user AngryLambie

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Tracy Carson is a Licensed Associate Professional Counselor, a wife to her Prince Charming whom she has been married to for 10 years and a Mom of two precious boys, 5 and 3. Tracy has a passion for helping women feel beautiful inside and out and works hard in her faith based counseling practice, Professional Counseling Associates, (www.pcaaz.com) specializing in the treatment of women’s issues: especially anxiety, development, and eating disorders and counts it a privilege to come alongside of women as they overcome the stress that can come with new life transitions. When Tracy is not in her professional role, you can probably find her out running or trying to figure out how to incorporate the newest fashion trends into her wardrobe. Follow her on twitter @tkcarson

5 COMMENTS

  1. Dear Tracy.
    Thank you very much for this post. I found it through a link on Pigtails Pals.
    I rarely post comments to the blogs I read, but I felt compelled to do it today because, what you’ve written here, is sooo like my life and how I feel right now. I could really use a few sessions with you… shame that I live in UK!
    I will keep reading the blog and look for inspiration!

    • Thanks so much for your comment Laura. I wasn’t familiar with Pigtails Pals, I will have to look it up. So cool that you are reading from the UK! I hope you will be encouraged and can find support even virtually, because we are all doing the hardest job in the world and it is never fun to feel like we have to do it perfectly! Thanks again for reading!

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