Ignite Romance for Better Date Nights

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As the frantic days, weeks, months and years of family life pass; it’s easy to lose sight of the priority of your husband and your marriage. We become preoccupied by the demands of raising decent human beings, keeping a home, demanding jobs, etc. and before long; the thing you SWORE would never happen in your marriage happens… the flames of romance grow dim.

If you want to know the secret to igniting those flames of romance; you’re not alone. But the truth is you already know the secret. What you once did to stimulate romance and prepare your heart to receive your husband is the very thing you must do now and then keep doing until death do you part. You are in charge of your own heart and mind. It’s not your husband’s job to keep the spark alive in your heart for him (just as it’s not your job to keep romance alive in his heart for you). That’s great news! It puts ball in the right court where you can do something about it.

SO LET’S REVIEW HOW PASSION IGNITES…

When love was new, each time you thought of him – you anticipated his presence, his touch, his kisses, etc. In his absence you replayed romantic moments and imagined yourself in the arms of the man you love. You were steeped in the exquisite pain of being apart and the exhilarating joy of love’s anticipation. It was this yearning for him that fueled the blaze in your heart. Interestingly, the way he occupied your heart and mind also affected the way you treated him and a man can take about 50 years of a woman who clearly shows he is deeply desired by her. You held him high in your affections and he was drawn to you like moth to a flame. You were dazzling in your love and he was captivated by you mind, body and soul. Don’t believe me? Think back on all the times he moved mountains just to spend a single moment with you. This same longing and anticipation of coming back together will ignite passions between you now as surely as it did then… and it only takes one heart to spark the flames!

SO BEFORE YOUR NEXT DATE NIGHT…

Set the stage by making a plan – use one of the great ideas found here on Scottsdale Mom’s Blog. At least part of the purpose of this blog is to remind us that romantic settings don’t have to blow the budget. Most importantly, the key to a great date is not the activity of the date but the condition of your heart when you’re on it. Even the most romantic setting is lost on a lukewarm heart. Now, since you have already been the star of your own romantic story with your husband, all you have to do is hit the REPLAY BUTTON on your own romantic movie. Starting right now and then each day until your next date night replay the following scenes (or 4 scenes of your choosing)…

  1. A fun time when the two of you laughed and did something goofy, enjoyable. <<Pause Now & Replay that Scene>>
  2. The moment he first kissed you. Watch the entire scene. As he leaned towards you for the first time, how did you feel? <<Pause Now & Replay that Scene>>
  3. Picture his handsome face in the moonlight or candlelight. Notice his square jaw. What color are his eyes? The shape of his lips? Recall the sandpaper of his masculine cheek against the softness of yours. <<Pause Now & Replay that Scene>>
  4. An intimate moment with him (and we’re not talking “G” Rated here!) Sorry, you’re on your own with the details here… but you get the idea. <<Pause Now & Replay that Scene>>

Now rinse and repeat every day until your next date night. If you’re out of practice – stay the course and don’t allow yourself to get distracted by busyness or offenses. Remember, you control your own thoughts and condition of your heart.

A woman in love thinks about the man she loves affectionately and often. Contemplating your husband’s kisses, his caresses and the glory of him as a man in the midst of your day will do much to stimulate your heart towards him. Oh, and the very best part about filling your heart and mind with the man you love… it makes you an altogether captivating woman for your man to come home to at the end of the day!

QUESTION: We girls are suckers for romance… so what were some of the things your husband did just to be with you when love was new? What happened after this exercise… was your heart different towards your husband on date night? Was his heart different towards you?

 

3 COMMENTS

  1. When Jim and I were less than a month into our marriage I worked for an oil company in Tulsa and had to go to Dallas on business for a few days. Jim was so miserable that he hopped in the car, drove 6 hours just to spend a few hours with me knowing I’d be back in town in a few days.

  2. Oh, I love this Christy!
    It’s so important for me to remember to remember! It’s so easy to be negative and such a rewarding dicipline to think of the things we love!!!!! xoxoxo

    • Soooo true, Joy! In my nearly thirty years of marriage and helping so many women in marriage, I’ve seen the high price that simply forgetting to dwell on the things of love has on a marriage. It creates a vaccum that negativity so easily fills.

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