One of the hardest things for me now that I am full time working stay at home mom is balancing time for me. Just me. Time where I can get out of the house, with no kids and focus on myself for a little bit. I really don’t think it’s too much to ask. You are a busy lady who tends to everyone else all day long! Not only do you work, but you wipe noses, change diapers, deal with screaming tantrums, cook dinner, laundry, play with the kids- the list goes ON, doesn’t it? I often get to the end of the day, still with work to do, and realize that I didn’t have any time for just me.
And there are many days like that. And I have grown to be ok with it, even though it was a huge adjustment for me after Cruz was born. So I’ve really had to dig deep within myself and learn about what makes me ‘tick’ all over again. There is no possible way I could just be a mom and not make time for myself every now and then!
One thing I really had to do, was stop and remember what it was that I liked to do BEFORE I had children. It’s so easy to become a child-centered home/family once kids enter the picture. And obviously, they should be a major focus and priority! But it’s so important to remember that you ARE still a woman. One with interests, passions and one who had goals and things you liked to do before your children came into your life. Then, you’ve really got to remember that it’s OK to still want to be a woman separate from your kids. It’s ok to still have the same (or even different!)
interests than you did before they were born. It’s ok to go out and have some ‘time off’ to hang with girlfriends or go shopping ALONE.
Figure out what energizes you and spend sometime doing THAT every once in a while. For me, it’s my girlfriends. I LOVE going out with friends and spending time with people. And while I do enjoy a good pedicure all by my lonesome, spending time with people that matter to me really energizes me. And I do love meeting up with other moms for fun play dates with all the kids every now and then, but you definitely can’t spend good quality time with friends while you have your son puking on you, screaming in your ear and pulling out your hair.
Somehow it’s just not the same.
I love being intentional with my best girlfriends, getting out for dinner or coffee and catching up on the stuff that matters. Scottsdale Mom’s Blog has an AWESOME quarterly AZ Moms Night Out that I always try to take advantage of when it comes around. It’s always a great time and
Stephanie and Joy do a fabulous job of putting together a night for mom’s all over that really is a needed break! And while I don’t have MUCH time to do that in each and every week, it is something that I’ll schedule in my weekly plan and take a night off work for because it really energizes me. It allows me to feel like a woman, not just a crazy busy working mom. I can come back to my family and work refreshed and ready to take on the madness that is my life.
In the best ways possible.
I encourage you, find something that you LOVE to do. Better yet, remember something that you LOVED to do before your children were born and before you were trying to balance home life and work life. Get a babysitter (or your husband! ha!) and take just a few hours to do something that really will energize you. It’s important to remember that while it is so important to take care of everyone else in your little family, it’s equally important to take care of their mother! And just because you need a few hours away doesn’t mean you are a bad mom.
It just means that you are human.
And we ALL deserve a break every now and then. Not only do we deserve a break, but just because you had kids doesn’t mean that you aren’t important anymore and that you aren’t allowed to still go out and have some fun.
Kick up your heels for a few hours! I promise you’ll feel refreshed and able to come back as an even better mom than you already are!
I am Jessica Williams, full time wife, mother, and photographer. My husband Jason and I have two little boys, Cruz (2.5) and Rider (6 months) who have absolutely changed our lives in all the best ways possible. We live locally in Scottsdale, which is where I grew up, but we just moved back as a family almost a year ago. Jason and I are full time photographers with Session Nine Photography, photographing Weddings and Lifestyle Sessions locally as well as nationally. Jason also works at Scottsdale Bible Church as a Worship Pastor for Soma Young Adults and for High School Ministry. Having grown up in Scottsdale from a very young age, I really love living and raising my own children in Scottsdale. I love getting out in the city and I’m always looking for new things to do! I am passionate about being a mom and empowering women to find what they are passionate about and to live it out. I am inspired daily by women who are hard workers, who love their family and who remain true to who they are.