Some days are easier than others. This was one of those days when everything I did with my toddler, a battle insued. Sadness errupted and, for her, the world ended.
Me: “Which bib would you like to wear?”
The Tantrum Monster: “NO! NONO!” (complete with head shaking and stif-arming)
Sometime later:
Me: “Reagan, please stop (climbing on the book case/climbing into your brother’s bassinet/dumping water on the carpet/going into my bathroom and playing with my make-up…)
The Tantrum Monster: throws herself on the floor in a puddle of toddler
Now, add the soundtrack of a screaming baby and try to consider just how you would react to such an afternoon. Yes, my mind was spinning and I kept trying to get myself into a peaceful place. Really, anywhere without my kids screaming into my ear would do. In fact, other people’s children screaming would be better. Why is that?
Two kids is like a juggler adding that fourth ball just so he looks extra cool. It takes some mad skills, but apparently people do it all the time.
And apparently, real parenting starts around age two. Up until now, I’ve been able to play and redirect Reagan without much fuss. But now, her emotions have come into play. Guiding her on how to handle those emotions will be a journey… for the next 16 years or so… The bar has been raised. Game on. No looking back.
So gals, here’s the question: What tips and advice do you have for navigating the Terrible Twos. Do you have any tricks that worked for your children that you just WISHED someone had shared with you? Spill it!
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Joy is the Co-founder of Scottsdale Moms Blog and absolutely loves living in Scottsdale with her hubby Kevin, their daughter Reagan (born August 2009) and their son Elliot (born May 2011). She is a lover of nature, a research analyst on all things related to life, a home manager, a crafty art-eest, Chief Marketing Officer for Cactus CrossFit, mommy, daughter and friend.
First of all, you are doing great! You hang in there!
Tricks… naptime… or quiet time. Same time, same place every day. It’s hard, but totally worth it when it clicks (even if it means missing some playdates to keep up the routine).
Oh, how I needed to read this this morning. What a morning it has been! Screaming baby + screaming, nonstop complaining toddler = mother feeling overwhelmed and like a failure. I just have to remind myself in the moment to run to God or else I will, without a doubt, respond in sin. God doesn’t deal with just my behavior. He’s more interested in dealing with my heart. That is what I need to be doing with Asha as well. She needs to understand that when she’s screaming because I took her teddy bear out of the baby swing to put Nora in, she’s being selfish and unloving toward her sister. I usually have to talk to her after she’s calmed down. Then we talk about how she can handle it next time. It’s a tiring process and sometimes it seems futile, but I know that God will honor it and it’ll help in the long run.
My favorite phrases during the 2’s and are still frequently used today, “sooo sad” and “bummer!” I can testify that it’s so hard to keep from getting angry in the middle of the meltdown & tantrums when I can feel my frustration burning, but if I can use these words and then walk away for just a moment, somehow I make it to the next meltdown 🙂
I learned this from the Love & Logic parenting books and w/o them, I have no doubt that I would be a horrible parent, much worse than I am at the present :0 There are tons of great ideas of how to handle these situations and I’m getting a lot more practice now at 5 years old than I ever did before.
Hang in there and you’ll make it through – every mom does 🙂
As you know these are some of my favorite topics so I promise not to write a novel here. 🙂 It always helps me to remember that the EMOTIONS she is displaying are real, and they are okay, and it is our job as moms to help them navigate frustration, disappointment, anger, etc. Trying to “correct” those emotions is not appropriate in my opinion – we want to give them tools to deal with those strong feelings. That doesn’t mean that BEHAVIOR – hitting, yelling, doing what you’ve agreed is against the rules – is acceptable. If you can separate the emotions from the behavior I think it’s easier to be sympathetic to the fact that it’s hard to be two, without giving in or allowing the behavior you want to “correct” (or steer in a different direction). It’s being able to say “I understand you are mad, but I can’t let you dump out the water. Let’s clean it up together and find something else to do.” Then the tantrum rages and you are there to comfort the feelings of disappointment, but not to punish or correct the fact that she’s disappointed. That’s my opinion anyway… 🙂 xo
This is a great article, too, from one of my favorite parenting websites: https://www.ahaparenting.com/Ages-stages/toddlers/toddlers-terrific-twos
I hate tantrum days! My tricks are to make as many things as possible their idea – this includes limiting the possibilities so they get to choose their outcome, but you control the choices. I ask which of two shirts she wants to wear rather than “what do you want to wear today?”. Also? A lot of tricking and odd logic seems to work great. When B wouldn’t wear her bib, I pointed out that Bear the dog has on his collar so why wouldn’t she want to wear her bib? She gave me a “I know you’re up to something” look and then happily chose her bib and started eating. Not sure why it worked, but it did!
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