TRANSITIONS | Becoming A Party Of Four

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What do you get when several moms with different perspectives weigh in on the same topic? A great conversation!

This post is part of our MomSense series on transitions. From what they eat and where they sleep, to who takes care of them and how they learn, parenting young kids means navigating a series of important transitions. If you think about it, you’re probably in the middle of one (or more!) right now. Keep reading for one contributor’s experience, and click here to read all posts in this series.

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When I was pregnant with my first child I did everything by the book. I followed all the rules, ate everything that I was supposed to. Avoided microwaves, lunch meat, and caffeine.  I lay in bed at night and worried about my imminent motherhood responsibilities and prayed that I would measure up to the task.

Adjusting to life with my first baby was a life altering shock.  The first three months I was covered in a sleep-deprived fog and literally have very few memories from that time.  I had read every book, followed all the advice and still found myself with lots of questions.

And then, when me and my little girl had finally worked out a great system, I got pregnant again.  This time around I wasn’t quite as diligent to follow every rule. I didn’t force myself to take the pre-natal vitamins that made me sick…I may or may not have sneaked a few sips of coffee in…I didn’t quite worry about all those pesky little rules. Not this time. This time, aside from vomiting, I spent the entire nine months worrying about how I could possibly love another human being like I loved my Angelina. My heart was so full, I could not fathom how I was going to make room for another little person in there.  I worried about how I could equally divide my attention and not let big sister feel left out. I worried about how I would ever make it to the grocery store, and a million other things.  I had so much worry about becoming a mother of two.

My veteran mom friend tried to calm my biggest worry by giving me a wise quip, “Babies come with their own love.” She comforted me that when my little man arrived my heart would double in size.  I didn’t believe her.

But it did.

On the morning of my 27th birthday Tyler arrived complete with all the love that I never dreamed possible I could have for a second child. I held him in my arms and my heart swelled and nearly burst with love.  Suddenly, we were a family of four and nothing could be more perfect.

Adjusting to life with an infant again was easy.  It was kind of like riding a bike…a lot of what I had figured out the first time around came back pretty quickly.  Adjusting to life with an infant AND a toddler was a bit more challenging.  We spent much of that summer indoors. I planned my outings very carefully.  I’d like to say that I asked for help when I needed it and tried not to be super woman. But I can’t lie to you.

Thankfully we had built a pretty strong support system who knew all about my super woman independent tendencies and forced their help on me.  They would help to make sure big sister got special big girl outings, and delivered meals.  I was so blessed.  And honestly, it got easier. We found our groove pretty quickly. My huge worries were laid to rest.  Soon I wondered how we ever lived as just a party of three.

How did you transition from having 1 to 2 kids?

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Noelle Larson is a mom still searching to find the “balance” between her spiritual journey, family, ambition, inner peace, world peace…all while trying not to blink so she doesn’t miss one minute of her beautiful, messy life.  Noelle writes at metromom.org where she journals her crazy days chasing after her kids and husband, deep thoughts, and captures her latest adventures.

 

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Noelle Larson is a mom still searching to find the “balance” between her spiritual journey, family, ambition, inner peace, world peace…all while trying not to blink so she doesn’t miss one minute of her beautiful, messy life. Noelle writes at metromom.org where she journals her crazy days chasing after her kids and husband, deep thoughts, and captures her latest adventures.

2 COMMENTS

  1. This is perfect for me today – as I’m sitting here wondering the same thing! How am I going adjust after all this Grandma help leaves? How will I cope with two – how will I divide my time between them and show them BOTH they are loved? Ah, I guess I just will.

    I’ll remember you advice about asking for and accepting help… yup, gonna need it!

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