So, this past weekend we went sorta-camping. What? You’ve never heard of sorta-camping before? Well, let me define it for you. Sorta-camping is when you let your friends buy expensive camping gear, spend all day Thursday packing, haul everything up a mountain and then spend the entire day Friday setting everything up…while you awaken leisurely on Saturday morning, throw some lawn chairs and a bottle of wine in your trunk and join them for a lakeside barbeque, campfire and sing-along songs. Just when you think you might be turning all “outdoorsy,” you remember how much you like hot showers and your ergonomic pillow. You thank your friends for your sorta-camping experience, pile in your car and go home for a bath and a deep sleep.
It took us a few days to wash the smell of campfire out of our hair, but it’s taken longer than that for us to shake our craving for more sorta-camping. We’ve decided that we love being the tag-a-long beneficiaries of our friends’ outlay of time, cash and hard work. We can’t wait to be campsite parasites again soon.
I guess it would help to explain that I come from a long tradition of sorta-camping. It’s written on my DNA. Growing up, our family loved roasting marshmallows in our backyard, pretending that we were about to sleep out under the stars by laying out blankets and pillows and at the last minute going inside to sink under our sheets. One particular story that comes to mind happened about a year ago. My dad went to REI (which can be an expensive 2 hours for a middle aged man) and came home with a large family sized tent, a camp stove, 4 sub- zero rated sleeping bags, 2 air mattresses and a bug zapper. Since he needed to find a way to justify his purchase and knowing that there was no way in heck that he was getting my mom to go anywhere she couldn’t plug in her blow dryer, he called me to borrow my daughters for the weekend.
They set up the tent, complete with air mattresses, sleeping bags, camping stove and, although he tried, my mom wouldn’t let him take the bug zapper out of the box. My dad, mom and their granddaughters camped in the backyard, and just when everyone was on the cusp of dreamland, my mom went inside to her own bed, and was awoken at first light by two little girls with icicle feet. They were just finishing their camp stove breakfast of sausages and griddle cakes when my parents’ gardener and his crew let themselves in through the side gate. As they sauntered around the corner, Jorge furrowed his brow as he took in the sight that confronted him.
He looked at the backyard campsite, then turned and looked at my parents’ comfy suburban house, then back at my dad and the campsite.
Again feeling the need to explain himself, my dad offers, “Hey Jorge, we’re camping!”
Jorge raises one eyebrow and retorts, “Why?”
My thoughts exactly.
It makes very little sense that we have this drive to spend our weekends doing what pioneers did out of necessity. Since the advent if the house, we’ve been trying to get back to nature. The humans are trying to get outside, and the bugs and rodents are trying to get inside. It’s a universal irony. I’ve discovered that it’s far more satisfying to sorta-camp! It’s all the fun of actual camping minus peeing behind a rock at midnight.
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Karis Murray is a Scottsdale, Arizona native and mother to daughters Riley, age 8 and Lydia, age 6. She is currently the Creative Director for the Family Matters Minute Radio Show and serves as Lead Writer and Editor for the show. She has been a freelance writer for more than 10 years and is a poet in her own mind! Learn more about Karis at her blog: CandidMotherhood.com.
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HILARIOUS Karis… as always!
Although I was an actual real-life camper in my pre-kiddo life I think I might actually have to take up the sorta-samping lifestyle here for the next few years. Camping with kiddo’s just doesn’t seem like much fun!
Now we just need to find a real-life camper who will let us tag along for our sorta-camping itches. 😉 Any takers??!
You guys are welcome to ‘sorta-camp’ with us anytime we go! We love camping… yes thats right, even with the babies 🙂 AND they have done really well the times we have gone. It’s definitely something that requires proper planning (especially since we cloth diaper) but we have had so much fun as a family, because lets be honest… its the closest thing to a real vacation we are going to get.
Brilliant! 😉
Haha! I love it! My family used to take us actual camping when we were kids. However, since that wasn’t often enough for us, my 2 brothers and I would pitch a tent in the backyard like your dad did. Sans the air matresses and cooking stove, though. 🙂
This is SOOO Me! HILARIOUS! I am EXACTLY like this! LOVE everything having to do with camping… I’ll even take the work… but sleeping on the hard ground and a bathroom not nearby… Cold and potential bugs getting me while I sleep? Not my fav…. Sorta Camping is the coolest… I truly love it all but the actual sleeping experience.. .then I like my mom’s philosophy….. “my idea of campin is the Holiday Inn”
p.s. I’m from Northern Minnesota where camping is more common then houses…. so I understand my mom’s burnout… HOWEVER! Some of my favorite memories are me with my Grandparents at “Christian Campers” event’s…. making blueberry bread in that smasher thing on the fireplace and singing Hillbilly worship songs around a campfire with a few guitars…. 🙂 Of course for me it was the choice between the grandparent with the Motorhome and the Grandparent with the Camper Trailer….lol…. Not quite the “roughin” it my mom did on her honeymoon while my dad hunted bears!
I am so glad my aversion to camping has finally paid off! My philosophy in life still stands: Never get more than 20 feet from an electical outlet. Love you honey.
Mom
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