If you’re like me, every spring you have grand ideas about planting a garden. The weather in Scottsdale has been beyond beautiful and I found myself buying a stack of seed packets. I could already taste the salsa I would make with my homegrown tomatoes and peppers!
The truth is, those seeds will most likely sit on my counter for at least six weeks, upon which I will probably shove them in a drawer, only to discover them covered in dust sometime in late October. (You know, when all the other moms are showing off their prized pumpkins and gourds.)
So, I’m not much of a gardener…
While I’ll admit my thumb is anything but green, I often wonder about the little people I am growing. You see, I’m in the season of life where I should probably paint my SUV yellow and start running a meter for all the dance classes, music rehearsals and sports I’m shuttling kids to and from each day. In the hurried pace of life we can so easily fall into, it is easy for me to begin to focus on my kids behavior. I find myself correcting manners, reprimanding arguments and discouraging tattling…I mean someone has to tame these little monkeys into proper citizens. But, I often wonder if ever I get it backwards. Am I working too hard to shape them from the outside?
Too easily I forget that my two year old is so much more than his behavior. Within this tiny little person is the potential to become a strong, thriving adult. My job is to pull that potential out. But we get scared. We fear that our kids will fall short, or be disliked, or that our parenting will be looked down on. So we focus our attention on the behavior forgetting one of the basic rules of gardening (…and parenting.)
Seeds want to grow.
Our job is to create an environment where that can happen. As we begin to focus on the individual needs and hearts of our children and surround them with the love, encouragement and faith they need- they will begin to sprout and develop strong roots.
There will always be behavior to correct and change. (Did I mention that I have a two year old?!!) But, hopefully we remember that our first job is to cultivate their hearts and watch them grow from the inside out.
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Noelle Larson is a mom still searching to find the “balance” between her spiritual journey, family, ambition, inner peace, world peace…all while trying not to blink so she doesn’t miss one minute of her beautiful, messy life. Noelle writes at metromom.org where she journals her crazy days chasing after her kids and husband, deep thoughts, and captures her latest adventures.
Beautiful, Noelle. It was nice to meet you (briefly!) on Saturday. 🙂
There is SUCH a balance with multiple kids and multiple ages and a huge swing of “correctable behaviors” right? UGH! Sometimes it’s so overwhelming.
I did a Bible study one time called “Discipline Them, Love Them” shortly after I had my first kiddo (Matthew is now almost 10!) and I LOVED it. It talked about how discipline was so much more than just punishing bad behavior and how it was actually JUST AS MUCH about practicing RIGHT behavior. Focusing more on emphasizing “the rights” instead of only pointing out “the wrongs” (and it’s SO not like I get THAT right every day!), has helped my Mom-Brain so much… especially on the days where I’m losing my mind entirely!
And you’re so right… our focus needs to be long-term and remember that these little people are just seeds right now that need to be cared for and nutured… and not completely pruned down to a NUB yet!
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