Love Gush Moments

 I really love my husband and I am kind of in a love gush about him right now.  Now before you go and click away from this awesome website because the last thing you want to read about is some stranger lovin’ on her man, hear me out for a minute; because even if you aren’t currently in a state of love gush, I am sure you know what I am talking about.

A love gush is a “Tracy-ism” that I fully give you permission to use it when and if you are overflowing with love for someone or something.  Usually it comes when my heart is full of love from and towards my husband after a great conversation, reminiscing about how we met, dreaming about our future or just when he makes me laugh.   The love gush is not only reserved for marriage though, I also experience the love gush around my children, usually during our weekly tradition of pizza and a movie night, post-bath cuddles and often times when we are doing anything together and at that moment everything seems to be right with the world; those are love gush moments.

Can you recall your latest love gush?  Knowing what it is and how to bring up the memory of it is an important skill to require, especially if you and your Prince Charming are acting more like the Wicked Witch and the Evil Sorcerer toward each other.

You see, marriages are in a current state of emotional fluctuation and you will argue, even if you don’t call it that.  A discussion, fight, or ‘we need to talk’ moment is bound to happen and knowing how to properly work through it will put you way ahead of the game when it comes to a positive and swift reconciliation.

The first step in positive peace making is knowing that a healthy* argument is going to come.  All to often women grade their marriages on a scale of “we never fight” to “every word that comes out of our mouth is at a higher decibel.”  They incorrectly assume that the absence of arguments is the mark of a healthy marriage and expert communication skills.  I am going to say that while I would never condone yelling at someone to get your point across, it is impossible to always agree with someone, especially your spouse.  Disagreements from the simplistic to supreme are going to occur and that disagreement needs to be worked through and it might not always be easy or fun.  BUT, when you are able to overcome and work through the uncomfortable-ness your marriage will be stronger because of it.

Do you remember the love gush moment?  Use it!  When you are in the heat of frustration and you can’t see how you and your spouse will ever come together on something, take a pause and remind yourself why you married this man.  Recall your story, your first meeting, maybe even your first kiss.  Recall the days of dating bliss when your biggest worry was whose family you would meet first.  Those are the days when lust became love and you decided that this would be your one and only.  That memory, those moments are bound to stir up in you something that is so much bigger than the frustration at hand, because even if you are dealing with real life stressors; a mortgage, finances in general, a health scare, or just that he wouldn’t pick up his shoes, those love gush moments in the beginning led to a commitment for better or worse and a willingness to work through the yucky in order to have a lifetime of the amazing.  After you have pulled away for a moment and reminded yourself of all the good, come back together and just like children who need to learn how to share, you share the point of view and let the other speak and be heard before you talk.  Be willing to do the work to work through an issue because now you have reminded yourself why it is totally worth it.  Way more worth it than winning an argument.

Ok Ladies, go remember your first love gush and I encourage you to make a new memory this weekend, here’s to love gushes across the valley!

*If you or someone you know is in danger or feels unsafe in a relationship there is help.  If you are in immediate danger, call 911.  For education or support the national domestic abuse hotline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-799-7233.  Finally, please feel free to contact me at Professional Counseling Associates (480) 730-6222 or [email protected], all contact is completely confidential. You are not alone and there is nothing to be ashamed of in reaching out for help.

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Tracy Carson is a Licensed Associate Professional Counselor, a wife to her Prince Charming whom she has been married to for 8 years and a Mom of two precious boys, 3 and 1.  Tracy has a passion for helping women feel beautiful inside and out and works hard in her faith based counseling practice, Professional Counseling Associates,  to encourage her clients to feel the freedom to be comfortable in their own skin.  She specializes in the treatment of eating disorders and counts it a privilege to come alongside of women as they overcome the stress that can come with new life transitions. Find her on the web at https://www.pcaaz.com