Proverbs 14:1 tells us “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” As with all areas of life….we must be watchful of where our choices are in conflict with our intentions.
Early on I was very much tempted to “spoon feed” my children past the ages where doing so was beneficial to their growth. Thankfully, it hit me that by continuing to tell them exactly what to do, exactly how to do it, and exactly when to do it…that I was working against some of the very character qualities I was hoping to help develop in their lives.
While attempting to raise up children who are curious, adventurous, and self motivated…there came a point in time when I had to relax a bit on “curriculum overload” and provide access to learning tools…things like art supplies, cameras, musical instruments, computers, travel opportunities, wood, hammers & nails, a well stocked library, sewing machines, field trips, good films, cooking utensils etc. It was awkward at first…stepping out of the box…but oh so liberating in the long run.
While attempting to raise children who think …there came a point in time when I had to relax if not relinquish altogether my ideas of what the learning process is supposed to look like. Reading pre-digested and regurgitated material…. chosen by some stranger somewhere….. does not necessarily make a thinker. The “Me Talk You Listen Model” …does not necessarily make a thinker. Discuss everything. Talk about life. Talk about problems. Talk about solutions. Talk about politics. Talk about social issues. Talk about faith. Talk about current events. Talk about story lines. Talk about song lyrics. Talk about fears & losses. Talk about hopes & dreams. Answer questions with questions. Think. Think out loud. Think alongside your children.
While attempting to raise up children who have the skills to properly plan and manage workloads, there came a point in time when I needed to back away and allow them to practice those skills with little intervention on my part. I taught my kids how to make a weekly schedule. Five weekdays. Two weekend days. Chores, Reading, Writing, Math, Science, Piano, Dance…etc. Stuff to get done. Only a certain number of hours to do it in. They understand that stewarding our time well is the ideal. Hopefully we’ve modeled this for them in our home more often than not. They, like myself…. invite stress and frustration when they choose something lesser than the ideal.
But, our stumbles along the way teach us much, don’t they?
That just might be the core of what I’m trying to get at here.
I think it is.
Are we willing to give up control so that our kids can wobble a bit until they find their own footing?
And, is it okay if what works for them might not look exactly how we would have it look? Or, how it looked for us?
Are we willing to learn from our children?
There are no guarantees. Modeling certain things and providing access to tools does not necessarily secure an outcome…but it is wise and un-foolish to do so.
Blessings,
Dawn
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Dawn Gregg is a local writer/photographer. She and her husband, Bradley have five children. They are passionate about the Lord, film, food, thrift finds, adoption, and home-education among other things.
They are sorta kinda hippie …you can learn more about them by visiting their blog:
https://familygregg.blogspot.com or https://dawngreggphotography.blogspot.com
