Coping with an Enlightened First Grader

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All moms have coping methods. Maybe for you it’s watching TV, exercising, deep breathing or eating. For me, it’s sarcasm.

I survive on a steady diet of farce, satire and sarcasm. Any time I don’t know what to do or say in a situation, I turn to the comic relief that exists in making fun of as many people as possible. (I’m my own favorite target!) On those days when all I could do was laugh (so I didn’t cry) I would have short sarcastic conversations with myself in order to cope. Example:  “Yes honey, mommy loves watching Yo Gabba Gabba with you.  I have almost completely intellectually deteriorated anyway.”

My brand of sarcasm isn’t the angry kind.  I much prefer the more condescending “Bless your heart” type of jovial disdain. Kids gage meaning and mood by tone of voice and body language, so I was able to fly under the radar undetected as long as I maintained a cheery tone of voice and a smile. One of the darkest days in my parenting journey was the day that I realized that they got it. I’m not sure what age this knowledge typically dawns for kids, but I’d be willing to bet that for mine it was earlier than most.

As we have discussed in earlier posts, driving in the car results in some interesting conversations.  Today’s was about to render a jewel. My husband was driving the girls and me into school and work for the day.  A tidbit of information you need to understand is that my husband had an identical twin brother named Pat.

My six-year-old Lydia: “Dad, was uncle Pat adopted?”

Pause.

Explosive laughter.

Me: “Yes honey, Grammy and Grampy looked and looked for like a year until they found a baby that looked just like Daddy, and then they adopted him.”

You could tell that Lydia regretted this question as soon as it left her lips.

Lydia: “I don’t appreciate your sarcasm.”

The only thing that softened the blow to the fact that my youngest child was no longer naïve to my derisive musings was her impeccable comedic timing.

Truly though, as moms we need to find ways to unload our burdens and release pressure.  I use humor. It’s the candy coating that covers the bitter pill of truth. It’s the pressure valve that releases the huge emotional strain that goes along with parenting. Now that I don’t have the veil of sarcasm, I’m going to have to resort to slapstick.  I’m naturally clumsy, so I’m guessing that it won’t be a stretch for me! Although, I’ve already seen that all my early sarcastic conditioning of my children has come back to bite me in the you-know-what. They can dish it out with the big dogs!

It’s alright by me. It keeps me grounded and helps me cope!

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Karis Murray is a Scottsdale, Arizona native and mother to daughters Riley, age 7 and Lydia, age 6.  She is currently the Creative Director for the Family Matters Minute Radio Show and serves as Lead Writer and Editor for the show.  She has been a freelance writer for more than 10 years and is a poet in her own mind!  Learn more about Karis at her blog: CandidMotherhood.com.

5 COMMENTS

  1. LOL! I knew I loved you for a reason! I am finding the bite in the you know where with josh as well…. but it’s usually pretty funny…… He has this look…. MOMMM. And moves his eyes a certain way. It’s so funny when they take on the adult role and we moms are put in our place. It’s like, HEY.. when did you get to the age you “get it”?

  2. I am guilty of this type of coping as well, only maybe to a lesser degree. My daughter calls from the bathroom , “Mommy can you come help me wipe?!” I respond with “Oh, I absolutely cannot wait to come and wipe your poopy bottom. I’ve been waiting for this moment all day.”

    I say it in the kindest, sugary-est, sing-song voice but still, it’s probably not the greatest way to respond to your 4 year old. I better stop now before I have a “Lydia moment”. Thanks for always reminding us of a poignant and important idea in such a funny and honest way. I love that about you!

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