I don’t know about you but I love date night. My husband and I try to go as often as we can, when babysitters and budgets permit. It’s good for us, our marriage, and let’s face it, it is just plain fun. I love having something other than nap time to look forward to throughout the week, (A little extreme? Come on, you know you love that time of day too), and a night off from the kitchen is welcome as often as possible.
More than the break from the norm there is something else that date night brings: the opportunity to dress up! Don’t tell my husband but this aspect of date night ranks right up there with good conversation! A cute top, a pair of high heels, freshly applied lipstick; all of these components for this Mama are like water to a desert traveler: Necessary. There is something about the smell of spit up on my shirt and the dirty hand prints on my… well everywhere, that strips me really quickly of any semblance of beauty. Date night brings it all back. As women, we love to feel beautiful and as Mom’s sometimes we don’t.
So if I feel beautiful on date night am I? What does feeling have to do with beauty? Do my high heels and lipstick really have that much power? Are we not beautiful unless we are all dressed up with some place to go? Of course not, but sometimes it sure does feel that way. We have the opportunity to be beautiful always, but the feeling may not come along with us. While date night certainly is a wonderful opportunity to feel beautiful, if we are counting on a feeling to give us our worth then it isn’t going to last. The lipstick will fade, the heels will become uncomfortable and before we know it, we will be back to jeans and a t-shirt and then the feeling is just that, a feeling. It will be gone with the lipstick.
But don’t be discouraged; you are beautiful. I know you are. Even though I can’t see you, I know you and, as a woman too, I kind of get where you are coming from. You are beautiful. Women are the definition of beauty. We just have to know where to look. This type of beauty is an inner beauty that radiates out. This beauty isn’t dependent on lipstick or date nights or anything else. It doesn’t matter if you have been dressed from the stylists of NYC or LA, or if you have a body like a model that walks the runway. Your beauty is what makes you unique; you are beautiful because you are you.
Now, because I know you, I know what you are thinking. “That is really sweet and looks great on paper but I just don’t buy it. When I look in the mirror I don’t see beauty, I just see me, and especially the parts I don’t like. I can tell myself all day long that I am beautiful but I just don’t feel it. And feeling is believing, right?” Sound familiar? I know because I get it. This understanding of where true beauty comes from takes time and practice. You are re-training your brain to understand where beauty comes from. Not looks or feelings but worth and unique-ness.
This isn’t arrogant puff- yourself- up- beauty, it is true beauty. Beauty that develops over time, that realizes that stretch marks are battle scars from the most glorious battle of all, that larger thighs or hips or whatever come from sacrifice of self for the creation of another, and that who you perceive yourself to be will communicate your beauty to the watching world- especially your children. They don’t care about the size of your pants; they want to know that you can cuddle with them in their beds, lift them high in your arms, and chase after them at the park. Your children see your beauty because they see you. It is much more than a feeling, it is love and security and comfort, and it is real.
So the next time you get dressed up for date night, know that as you apply your lipstick and adorn yourself with your favorite top and pair of high heels, remind yourself that you are only adding to your beauty. It was there all along.
True beauty is only revealed when there is light from within.
******
Tracy Carsonis a Licensed Associate Professional Counselor, a wife to her Prince Charming whom she has been married to for 8 years and a Mom of two precious boys, 3 and 1. Tracy has a passion for helping women feel beautiful inside and out and works hard in her faith based counseling practice, Professional Counseling Associates, to encourage her clients to feel the freedom to be comfortable in their own skin. She specializes in the treatment of eating disorders and counts it a privilege to come alongside of women as they overcome the stress that can come with new life transitions. You can contact her at tcarsonlac (at) gmail (dot) com or find her on the web at https://www.pcaaz.com
