Candid Motherhood: Nuptial Wishes and Trampoline Dreams

Driving in the car with my kids in the back seat brings out best and the worst in me. Somehow, knowing they have a captive audience causes my kids to do things that make me want to either put my tongue in a vice or have like twelve more of the little angels. I know a lot of you may have little ones that aren’t able to use their superior intellects to outwit you yet, so driving may only entail unintelligible screaming, grunting our gurgling.

But if you have a talker you know that car rides can yield some interesting conversations. This was one of those afternoons. I’d picked the girls up from school and we were talking about their days, what they learned, who they sat with at lunch…Somehow, and I know this is a stretch, we started talking about the Maid of Honor at a wedding. My younger daughter, Lydia, wanted to know what one was, and what they did. I explained that the Maid of Honor is the Bride’s main helper all through the preparation for the wedding and on the wedding day.

“Oh.” She said, “Does the man have a Maid of Awe-ner?”

“Well, sort of. The groom has a helper called a Best Man.”

Then she wanted to know who my Maid of Honor was at my wedding, and who Daddy’s Best Man was… We talked about this for a while. And then it was quiet. Strangely quiet. I knew something was coming.

My older daughter, Riley turns to Lydia and says in a sweet voice, “You can be my Maid of Honor at my wedding…”

My mommy heart melts from the sweetness of the moment. Two sisters, best friends who are already planning to be in each other’s weddings. Sigh.

It’s quiet again for too long.

Like a Ted Nugent solo bursting through the symphonic strains of the Boston Pops, Lydia says, “Are you sure you can’t pick someone else!”

Now, I know what she’s thinking. She’s thinking that being a helper for a wedding sounds like a lot of work. And there’s nothing Lydia likes less than work. It’s now my job to convince her that being a Maid of Honor is also a lot of fun…something Lydia can’t get enough of.

“Lydia, when you’re the Maid of Honor you get to plan the bachelorette party!” I say in my sunniest voice.

Another… long… pause.

Lydia, as the preeminent negotiator in the family, finally comes around with her offer. “Alright. I’ll do the party as long as we can have a pool and trampolines.”

I erupt into laughter. Oh, sweet Lydia. For so many reasons that I cannot state, a pool and trampolines would make for the ultimate bachelorette party. The girls both look at me like I must be crazy to laugh off such a reasonable offer.

After I recovered from this awesome remark, I realized these moments with our kids come and go too soon. I’m going to blink my eyes and one of them is going to be in a white gown and the other will be at her side, as her helper and friend. At least that’s what I pray for.

Somehow, these moments build and stack on top of each other until they’ve formed the pillar of their childhood and the cornerstone of our legacy.

My father always used to say, “When it comes to parenting, the days are long, but the years are short.” I’m so glad that sometimes these long days give way to conversations, however naïve they might be,
that give us glimpses into the possibilities… a future birthed from years of the sweat equity of raising our kids.

I just hope I can be a fly on the wall at the pool/trampoline bachelorette party. That’s gonna be off the hook.

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Karis Murray is a Scottsdale, Arizona native and mother to daughters Riley, age 7 and Lydia, age 6.  She is currently the Creative Director for the Family Matters Minute Radio Show and serves as Lead Writer and Editor for the show.  She has been a freelance writer for more than 10 years and is a poet in her own mind!  Learn more about Karis at her blog: CandidMotherhood.com.

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