Whenever I meet someone with twins, I immediately feel as if I’m speaking to a superhuman. I can hardly imagine juggling two little beans all day – every day. I get just a little glimpse into this feat when I watch Nora and Reagan together… but, to be fair, they are only awake at the same time for two hours… and I’m still tired once nap time comes around. So, the exhaustion level must be very high for mammas who are double blessed.
Enter this week’s MomSense superhuman: Jessica M.
Jessica has boy/girl twins (currently in PreK). She shared with me her passion to treat each child as an individual and encourage their personal talents and ambitions. She has made extra care to “separate” her twins (when the opportunity presents itself) so that they appreciate one another more fully. For instance, they will be in separate classrooms when they start Kindergarten next year. “Sure, they will have different homework assignments and different projects, but if they were different ages that would also be the case.” Jessica is not one to steer away from a little extra effort for a greater reward.
I was inspired when she told me about the “Happy Chart” she uses to encourage good behavior. She keeps a simple Excel spreadsheet with three behaviors for each of them to work on. Two are the same: Clean up toys and No Whining and then each child has his or her personal challenge. Her daughter is working on staying in bed (apparently she’s a morning person and expects everyone else to be as well:-). Her son is mastering the life-long art of self-control (no hitting). I know we’ve all heard about stickers with stars, smiles, Strawberry Shortcake or Transformers, but Jessica, simply uses a pencil and creates a little smiley face when a behavior has been “Happy.” They have to earn 50 total (not in a row) happy faces for big rewards like going to Build-a-Bear. For smaller one’s like a special lunch with mommy, they have to have really had success in a row, like 8 or so. They determine the reward by asking the children what they would want. If the reward is crazy like a trip, then mom and dad give choices (like the book Love & Logic suggests). A reward can be anything from an experience to a toy.
If you like this idea, here’s what you need:
- Spreadsheet (Excel or Google Docs work great)
- Printer (or lined paper and a ruler can work)
- Pencil
- Three or four behaviors for child to master
How do they get Happy Faces? How many Happy Faces do they need to get the reward? How do you determine the reward?
About Jessica M.
How many children do you have? two (one boy and one girl)
What are their ages? both are four-years-old
What is your favorite thing about being a mom? teaching them to be good well rounded kids who have fun
What is your least favorite thing about being a mom? tantrums for no reason
What do you know now that you wish you knew before becoming a mom? about the book Love & Logic
What drains you? tantrums and no breaks (here we come summer)
How do you recharge? exercise and taking long deep breaths
Where is your favorite place in Scottsdale to go with your children? swimming
Where is your favorite place in Scottsdale to go with your spouse? hiking
Complete this sentence: I can’t believe I’m a mom because I still feel like a kid sometimes
